Drink your summer away with this vile elder god!

If you're anything like me, you're a wee drunk very hammered off of Mai Tai's right now, laughing at all these PDX people complaining about "the humidity."  If you're not like me, you're probably wondering who is that crazy drunk lady pointing and laughing at you.  Anyway...
This summer, I have (clearly) be revisiting the tiki drink, and the joy of the 1950's Polynesian drink.  What better way to take that trip down Bahama Mama lane than with a true island original, The Cthulhu tiki mug!

Designer Jonathan "Atari" Chaffin came up with this beauty and with help from the intensely talented Kristina Lucas Francis has decided to bring your summer nightmares to life.  Right now, there's a Kickstarter for it, so make sure you pledge a few dollars to get your very own.  Last one in the Dagon is a miasmic egg!

Various internet goodness

Here's a bunch of stuff the interwebs has to offer:

First we have the pizza necronomicon, or as I will forever call it: the necro-om-nom-nomicon.
Unfathomable, soul-destroying evil never tasted so good.

Up next is Madame Hillary Clinton being fucking awesome.  You're welcome.

And lastly is a wonderful pride tribute to Alan Turing, a brilliant mathematician, computer scientist, and creator of the Turing Test, who would have 100 on Saturday.  Though it is often said he committed suicide, there has been several people who said that might not have been the case.

Feast!

I will admit it, once I get into a fandom, I really get into a fandom. In this case it's Game of Thrones, though more properly, I'm into the Song of Ice and Fire books, since I don't have HBO and I am waiting for the first season of GoT to be available from the library (yes, people can get movies from the library). Anyway, I've finished the third book, A Storm of Swords, have just started on the fourth, and to celebrate this fact, I decided that I needed to make a GoT themed dinner last night.   If you haven't read these books, or seen the TV shows, maybe you'll think I'm a bit crazy.  However, if you have, you'll notice there is a intense amount of time spent discussing what people are eating, or what people want to eat.  Luckily, I am not alone in recognizing all the food motifs in these books.
To aid me in my medieval munching I turned to the amazing blog The Inn at the Crossroads. The ladies who run this blog are not only devote GoT fans, but also exceptional scholars of old timey foods.  Taking the foods mentioned in the books, they offer an original medieval recipe and a modern one, both tried and tested by them. On top of this, they also wrote the official Game of Thrones cook book, sanctioned by George RR Martin, so they know what they're doing.

Last night's Feast of Instagrams.

To make it easy on myself, I chose three basic looking recipes: sweet biscuits, garlic butter roasted mushrooms, and a meat pie.  For the biscuits and mushrooms, I followed their recipe word for word, leaving out the capers for the mushrooms as I didn't have any on hand, but for the meat pie I changed things up a bit.  I used ground turkey instead of pork (it was on sale), and I added bacon, onions, and a good splash of red wine, omitting the dates because I forgot to purchase them.  The sweetness of the honey and currants played nicely with the tart wine taste, and the bacon masked the fact it was just turkey.  It all turned out wonderful and with the bit of pie crust I had leftover, I added a direwolf to the top (Team Stark!).

If you're wondering what I drank, don't worry, there's a recipe for that, too!

My husband bought us some mead for the evening and I also made some hot spiced wine, which turned out amazing, and insanely simple.  For mine, I did a very very basic, what I had around the house recipe: Red wine, honey, a cinnamon stick, a few cloves, and some of the remaining currants.

Additionally!  If you feel like totally nerding it up and making some Winterfell roasts, I would suggest the amazing book Fabulous Feasts.  While the first part of the book is all about the medieval dining customs and ceremony, the back half is all recipes, ranging from really simple stuffed dates to how actually make a bird pop out of a pie.  And don't worry, there's a couple spiced wine recipes in there for good measure.

The Summer of the Zombies

So if you've glanced at your Google news alerts lately, it looks like there's an upcoming zombie apocalypse this summer (and I assume everyone has "zombie apocalypse" as a saved topic for their Google news alerts).  If you haven't, here's a quick run down: Three separate incidences of people eating people, some creepy rash breaking out in Floridian schools, the bug that killed Charles Darwin is hunting around the Americas, and some dude flipping out and throwing his intestines at police officers.

And this is all happened in about two weeks.  If this isn't the first signs of the cannibalistic undead rising up to eat our flesh, I don't really know what is.  Lucky for you, the internet exists and is ready to prepare your sorry ass (playing Left 4 Dead does not mean you're ready to mow down zombies) in case this does pan out to be the real thing.  Here's my quick list of sites you should read prior to the upcoming apocalypse.  If it does happen, you'll find me barracked in the nearest liquor store with my pug and all the boxes of Girl Scout Samosas I could find.

CDC Official Zombie Guide: The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has actually sat down and figured out what you need to do in case of a zombie attack. 

Zurvived: A podcast and website dedicated to teaching you what to do and how to survive a zombie attack. 

The Crovel: A weaponized shovel actually endorsed to kill the undead. 

Instructables: Besides showing you how to put an LED in nearly everything, Instructables also has a handy lesson in how to build a zombie survival kit. 

Zombie Squad: They host Zombie Con.  They also teach you how to kill zombies.

Happy Hour at the Mos Eisley Cantina

Let me start this post off by saying welcome, welcome to all the people who found my blog by searching for, "Adventure Time boobs."  Yes, Goggle tells me these things, and yes, you masturbate to weird shit. 

Anyway.

Here's an awesome picture of Star Boose: Get drunk like a Jedi!
I saw this on The Mary Sue and I wanted it to be real so badly, I could taste it (wait, that might be because I was drinking).  I want there to be more products I can buy to enable my fandom AND alcoholism!  Luckily for me, the Star Wars land of money making has given us a plethora of ice cube trays, so even though I can't get Jedi gin, I can add a little Yoda to my G&T.

All of these trays come from Think Geek, and as a bonus, they work as chocolate molds, too!  Who wouldn't love a Han Solo in Carbonite chocolate bar?  Probably Star Trek fans, but whatever, their movie is coming out next year so they can cram it.

Just make sure you use a coaster for your drink, because the Mos Eisley is a classy joint, OK?

Yo-Yo Samurai of awesomeness

Remember when you were 8-years-old and you thought yo-yos where fun for a few minutes before the string got all tangled up and you ended up hitting your kid sister with it when trying to fix it and totally got sent to your room for that lame shit?
OK, maybe that's just my story...
Anyway, check out this bad ass.  DUDE IS A FUCKING SAMURAI.  This is what you could have been if Mom didn't throw away your yo-yo after your sister came running to her with a bruise the size of Denmark on her face.  Tattletale.
Oh, and for the twenty-one and old crowd, don't worry, he aims to please.

MMORPG - Adventure Time #3 (End of the adventure)

I'm giving up on Minions of Mirth.  I might as well just give up on MMORPGs all together because I find it kind of boring.
Unless I get a team together, I've got fuck all to do except kick a bunch of skeletons in the teeth (which I do a lot because I've got 48 Broken Skulls in my inventory), and that's pretty fucking boring.  Every time I've tried to get to another town, or into another section, some giant evil thing busts out and beats me to death.  While I have been leveling up, it's just not enough to beat these giant dudes, and so I'm stuck in this town.
I get that this game these style games are more fun if you can get a team together but really, listen, I have a blog about drinking and comic books, do you think I have any friends?  No. If I had social skills to get people to hang out with me, I'd be doing that in real life!  With real people! Clearly, this game is bringing up some issues I have to deal with (and by deal with, I mean make some margaritas and play Portal 2).
Buy anyway, I am stepping away from MMOs and I am stepping away from online play in general.  I think I will stick with things I understand: Aperture Science Handheld Portal Devices.

MMORPG Adventure Time #2

So here's an update on my MMORPG gaming quest.  If you remember, I'm playing Minions of Mirth, and currently, I've got one player: A Level 8 Ranger.
You guys, gaming is boring. Listen, before you curse me out, or do whatever internet people do (Photoshop cats, I'm guessing), hear me out here. I am used to storyline driven video games.  Games where I have an objective and an ending are what I'm used to; playing without a "real" storyline is completely new to me. If I rescue the princess, or kill off GLaDOS, I win!  In MMOs, regardless of how many quests I do, there is never an end, and that's frustrating for one not used to that.  It just keeps going.
Beside trying to get used to the lack of storyline thing, I'm frustrated with my Ranger level.  I'm high enough where I can kill off small enemies with ease, but anything bigger and I die.  I'm basically stuck in this one city killing off skeletons and wood mites because I can't battle the bone golem, since those dicks keep killing me the second I flash my battle hammer (one plus in this game: BATTLE HAMMER).
And the number one reason I'm bored with this game is there is nobody to interact with because I have yet to get into a guild, or a team, or whatever it's called when I play with other people. Talking to a friend who is an actual MMO player (World of Warcraft), she confirmed my suspicion: Playing with just yourself is boring, joining in with a group and killing things together is fun.  Here's the deal, I have no clue how to actually join a guild.  Maybe there's a way to do it, but without somebody saying, "Oy!  This is how you join a guild!"  I'm totally lost. 
Luckily for me, I have hoodwinked my amazing husband into playing a MMO with me.  The adventure continues once he joins the battle!

My MMORPG Adventure Time

So, to keep up with my descent into total a shut in, I've started to play an MMOPRG. I've never played one before (heck, I don't even play the multiplayer doodad on Xbox), so I thought this would be a fun experiment.
My criteria for finding a game to start gaming the following:
1. Must be compatible with a Mac.
2. Must be free.
3. Must be fantasy based.

Really, that was it, so the world was give or take my oyster. I couldn't play WoW, because that shit costs money, and DDO was off the table because you need a Windows platform. So, because of this, I picked up Minions of Mirth. I mean, come on, it's got mirth right there in the title so you know it's going to be fun!
Starting off, I realized that MMOs and video games are NOT the same thing. Toss in Mass Effect 3 and they'll start you off easy, giving you some target practice and showing you how to play the game, then give you a storyline that you have to play through. When I entered the world of Minions of Mirth, there was no real starting point and there's no "real" story line, so you just kind of wander. I had to run around a while until I figured out how to talk to people and get quests. Luckily, MoM is made up of the nicest people ever, and when I waved my newb flag in chat, I had lots people willing to help me (all surprisingly snark free!). One person even gave me armor and weapons and a healing spell, so I wouldn't die right off the bat.

So, after all this, and finding out how to fight/talk to people/get quests, I've been having a good time. I don't really know what else you're supposed to do in an MMO besides punch skeletons and give townspeople the bat fangs they're craving, but I'm learning. I guess somewhere along the line I'll have to join a team, but it's a pretty sparsely populated game (from where I am), so I don't actually know where to find people.

Anyway, like I said, this is my adventures into MMORPG, so we'll see where this takes me.

Awkward first moments...

Let me say this right off the bat: I am totally going to see this movie. I will, most likely, go see it opening weekend, and completely geek out over it, and I will totally find Mark Ruffalo the hottest one.

That being said...

Avengers! Why did you start your trailer off with a freaking September 11th montage?!

What? You guys didn't see that? You're saying I over reacted? Wait, let me show you this:


Now, look at this trailer:



People running down an avenue in New York City while buildings fall behind them and huge clouds of dust raise up? I mean, read that sentence and tell me what you think of? Does it rhyme with Fine E-Melon (really, that was the best I could come up with)?
I'm not saying that an homage to 9/11 is a bad thing., not yet at least, because I haven't seen the movie. I am saying that I wish they didn't start the trailer off with such a strong image. I saw that scene and the rest of the trailer was kind of tainted, I couldn't help but flash back to that day. I don't want to go to a super hero blockbuster to think of one of the most tragic events in America's history, I want to go there and swoon over Bruce Banner and his tortured soul.

Sorry about the break

We'll be back shortly.