Then one day, I actually sat down and watched the music video for this song.
Had I had known this song was about a pedder-ass schoolteacher who wants to hump every fifteen-year-old boy in a 5 mile radius of her, I would have never ever sang this song in public all those many many many times I had. I felt dirty and wronged. How could this wonderful cheesy love song be about kid-touching? I wanted to make this song the first dance as my wedding! I had dreamed up choreography to this song! There was smoke machines involved, and we would release doves! And now, it was dirty and wrong and I could never ever sing this song again.
Until today. Today I discovered the Literal Version. And now, now when I feel like I've had one too many gimlets and I need to bust a lung on something, I can bust on, "and they shouldn't fence at night cause they're going to hurt the gymnastics!"