Sunday, June 7, 2009

Spin around, ninjas

So there was a time a few months ago when I could not stop singing Total Eclipse of the Heart.  Literally, every day I would sing this song, but I only really knew  the chorus (well, one of the choruses), so I would always sing it like this, "blah blah blah BRIGHT EYES!"  I would just mumble makeup words for two and a half minutes until I got to the part I knew.  Soon, I tracked down the actual song and learned a reasonable amount of it (much to the chagrin of everyone around me) and would randomly start singing it at work, on the train, while making dinner, but most the time when I was stumbling home from a gin drinking session and thought that my entire block needed, yes, NEEDED to hear a little Bonnie Tyler song off key and as a loud as possible around midnight on a Wednesday.

Then one day, I actually sat down and watched the music video for this song.

Holy crap.

Had I had known this song was about a pedder-ass schoolteacher who wants to hump every fifteen-year-old boy in a 5 mile radius of her, I would have never ever sang this song in public all those many many many times I had.  I felt dirty and wronged.  How could this wonderful cheesy love song be about kid-touching?  I wanted to make this song the first dance as my wedding!  I had dreamed up choreography to this song!  There was smoke machines involved, and we would release doves!  And now, it was dirty and wrong and I could never ever sing this song again.

Until today.  Today I discovered the Literal Version.  And now, now when I feel like I've had one too many gimlets and I need to bust a lung on something, I can bust on, "and they shouldn't fence at night cause they're going to hurt the gymnastics!"

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