Um...hmmm

OK, so I'm not reading the X-men thingie with the vampires (sticking to pretty much the Thunderbolts and Avenger Academy on the Marvel side of things); but this cover would totally make me start picking it up. Yes, it would party be for the tentacle throne (soooo want one for my place), but also, I love Namor's freaky Maila Nurmi eyebrows and his, ah, other rather large tentacle action. Come on! Don't judge me! Dude should have known that sitting like that was going to be junk-action central! It's why you never see guys at a yoga class. Unless, of course it's hot naked yoga....

Happy Birthday Howard Phillips Lovecraft!!!

by now you should know to click on it for an awesomely larger image

Well, happy early birthday. I'm posting this a day early because tomorrow I will be out celebrating a real, living friend's birthday (Way to go Colleen! Turning 30!).

Anyway, tomorrow is Howard's 120th birthday, and what better way to spend it than with a Lovecraftian themed cocktail and lots of cheese. Below is my version of the Corpse Reviver #2, which I have re-titled for this special occasion:

The Herbert West

Components:

1 shot gin (I have Philly pride, so I prefer Blue Coat)

1 shot Lillet Blanc

1 shot Domaine de Canton

The juice of half a small lemon (you can go easy on this)

Dash of Pernod (or Absinthe if you're fancier)

Pour all ingredients over ice, shake well, and pour into a slightly chilled cocktail glass. I used Manhattan glasses from the 1960's, but champagne cups, not flutes, work just as well.

Now, the best part of any drink is the garnish (which, clearly, I forgot to add) and you have some choices with this: you can either use a slice of starfruit or long lime peels that you curl slightly and hang over the edge (like tentacles). I prefer the star fruit because it stays a bit better but limes are easier to find. You can also use Whiskey Stones in a tumbler with this drink. They won't water down your drink and they give the impression of Cyclopean ruins at the bottom of the sea (tell your friends the drink is called Dagon if you're going with this method).

This cocktail is best enjoyed whilst sitting on a moss covered mausoleum in a disturbing New England backwoods; preferably you'd also be fainting from seeing some terror or, you know, an Italian guy.

However, if a trip to Rhode Island isn't in your future tomorrow, you can also just drink this in your living room (yes, that's really my living room) while listening to the HP Lovecraft Literary Podcast (very funny and well produced) and watching out for night gaunts, re-animated fiends, prime numbers, monolithic architecture, rats, Jell-O, and your weird neighbor who always complains about his AC unit.

Add some dry ice around the place to give it a murky miasmic ambiance and you’re good to go!

Enjoy!!!

scotch egg

me: my tummy hurts.

johnny sorrow: you should watch this you tube video!

me: um, I really just want to lie down and rub my belly for a few hours....

johnny sorrow: no, this is awesome, you need to see it.

me: ok.....

[insert vomitty eyes and lots of gagging]

This is epic

Oh snap! Spinner.com is letting you preview the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack and score! That's pretty awesome, and what's even more awesome is holding your cellphone to your computer speakers so you can record Kim Pine shouting, "We are Sex Bob-omb!" as your cellphone ring. What? You think you're better than me because you download your ringtones? Pfft.

Jersey Thor

Thor is the nicest guy of the Marvel universe. I've sure there's some time when he's totally a dick, but he calls all chicks "fair this, and maiden that" and gives the best adjectives to describe people. But what if he was a total dick from Jersey (spoiler: I'm from Jersey)? I wish I could say that I came up with the dialog myself, but that was written by the coolest guy around (another spoiler: I'm marrying him).

click on the picture for a larger size

Oh Mr. Morrison, You need some American history

Batman is stuck traveling through time trying to get back to his current timeline. I can accept that. Nobody is ever killed (unless you're Gwen Stacy), they just get sucked into time portals, other dimensions, or remain frozen for years. It's comics, we accept these things. One day, I will learn to accept that Norman Osborn has really come back and is not a skrull (But that Gwen Stacy boned him? No. Noooo, no, no).

But you know what I can't accept? Historic Inaccuracies. Yes, that needed to be capitalized. And yes, the fact that for some reason, there were prehistoric men wandering around North America really irritates me. But the worst of it was, by far, the latest: Return of Bruce Wayne #4.

OK Grant Morrison, I get it, you're Scottish, maybe you just think that in 1870's everyone is a cowboy. But let me paint a picture for you:

The year is some time in the late 19th century, almost the turn of the century. The East coast of America is an industerial powerhouse. There are railroads crisscrossing the land, factories filling the sky with smoke and soot, trolley lines dragging people all around town. People are experiencing elevators in new tall skyscrapers, electric lights twinkle and pop, Henry Ford is muttering something about a Model T. It is an amazing techincal age and the East Coast is on the cusp of experiencing it all. It looks like this:

So, can you tell me why, why, whyyyyyy is Gotham done up like some place out in the boonies of the midwest? This is Gotham. A city. A city which would not have a chanty town of clapboard and dirt roads, but of filthy tenants packed with imigrants and swarming with cholera. So, why is Gotham drawn up as some dang whiskey town outside of whatever terrible reservation Andrew Jackson created? Why does it look like this:

Oh, and what's with the apple tree?

Yes, of course, let's drop everything, make Gotham into Deadwood (brief pause: I love that show), and add in Jonah Hex, the guy with the septate hymen for a mouth who should gone and cut that piece off ages age (Seriously, you can't just take a pair of scissors to that shit? What happens when he yawns? Or wants to eat a hoagie?). Also, let's point out he is wearing his CONFEDERATE uniform. In a town that is clearly part of the NORTHERN states. Come on Mr. Morrison, let that one sink in for a bit....

This is BATMAN who lives in a city called GOTHAM. You had the chance to make an awesome Victorian Gothic story, but instead, you gave us cowboys with the names of Chuck, Lucky, and Bucky (honestly). I could have seen bustles and corsets and awesome cravets! But instead I get ten gallon hats and fucking saddle bags! I...you know what? I can't. I got to stop. Because this story, like drinking too much wine, is giving me a headache.

I think I'm just going to lie down here and read some Action Comics starring Lex Luthor..ahh, so much better....ha...Mr. Mind is adorable.